Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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