I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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