you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
