It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Come on in and take your pants off
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