you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
