omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
