where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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