idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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