dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
