dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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