I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
