the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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