Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Small penises have feelings too.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
