Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
