no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
