It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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