It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
