Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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