He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
