U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're a waste of cheezeits
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
