True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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