i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
