I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
