That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
