Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
