Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
