I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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