you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
