He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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