the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
