people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
