You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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