planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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