I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize