so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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