they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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