i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
