2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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