Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
