sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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