And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
