is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
