How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My liver just broke up with me...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can you bring me the toilet please
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
