Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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