...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its not stalking. its research.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
