If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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