wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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