He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
