I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
