wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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