ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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