Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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