Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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