something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
