My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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