what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize