you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
