Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
