The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
