i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
