grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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