dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
